Invisible strings

I was never a fairytale kind of girl.

The whole concept felt foreign to me 🧍🏽 love at first sight, a person who walks in and suddenly fixes everything, a Prince Charming arriving on cue. I never understood it. I didn't have tasks to delegate to anyone. I didn't need saving.

And then I got older.

As a chronic overthinker, I found myself doing something I never expected.. saying quiet little prayers for someone I hadn't met yet. On Friday nights, crawling into bed alone, I'd catch myself wondering about him. What is he doing right now? Is he also lying in the dark, staring at the ceiling? I started wishing for his happiness almost instinctively, hoping he was safe, hoping life was being gentle with him. Which is a strange thing to feel for a stranger. A beautiful, embarrassing, very human thing.

Sometimes I wonder if I'm expecting too much. Maybe I should lower the bar. Be less selective. Give everyone a fair shot.

But then I think about who I am when I'm being completely honest with myself. Someone who protects her peace, who shows up for her people, who is loyal and curious and knows how to be both the weirdest and the most quiet person in it. Someone who loves deeply and is deeply loved back.

And if I exist, then so does he.

I don't know if I fully believe in invisible strings pulling people toward each other. But I do believe this : when I finally meet him, it won't be fireworks.

It will be quiet.

Just me, exhaling slowly, whispering to myself

"There you are. I've been looking for you my whole life."

_ a hopeful romantic